Ask E. Jean: I’m 49 and I Hooked Up With a 24-Year-Old Delivery Boy

Life & Love

Dear E. Jean: I’m thriving in NYC at a snazzy new job, and last night I returned from a week at our San Francisco office. Tired and jet-lagged, I ordered a bottle of bourbon from the local wine and spirits store.

The delivery boy was hot—a wiry, tattooed bike messenger type with David Bowie cheekbones and green eyes. I reached for my handbag to tip him and discovered I had no cash. So I invited him in for some bourbon. I didn’t have sex with him, but we did a little of everything else, just like in high school. Which he no doubt remembers very well, since he is 24. I just turned 49.

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Dilemma 1: He just texted me and wants to see me again.
Dilemma 2: I haven’t had sex in two years.
Dilemma 3: I can’t possibly look that good. Is he just hustling me? —Witty in the City

Witty, My Luv: Of course he’s hustling you— and Auntie Eeee adores him for it! Because of all the bourbon, brandy, rum, vodka, gin, and whiskey cocktails in the world, the sweetest swig is the Older Woman chased with a Younger Man. Your affair will be short. Hence, it will be fabulous. Return his text. Sometimes a woman should lose her wits. What are you waiting for? A younger guy to come along?

This article originally appeared in the September 2018 issue of ELLE.



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