Dear E. Jean: Friends seem to be drifting away. I contact them and suggest we meet for drinks or dinner, and they usually reply with, “Oh! I’m not in town that day.” Or, “Gosh! I’ve got a ton of work that week!” Then, when I ask if I should just let them alone, they act surprised! What does all this mean? I don’t know if I should give up on them or not. —What Would Emily Post Do?
Miss Post, My Parsley: A while ago, I invited the illustrious Miss Lisa Chase, Senior Features Editor of ELLE (and revered ed of this column) up to my little mountain cabin for an Appalachian Trail Hiking Vodka Bear Orgy. She’s still trying to schedule a date, three years later.
Show me a day on the calendar and I’ll show you 88 million people who can’t make it that night for drinks. Or lunch. Or dinner. They’re affixed to their scheduling apps, scheduling things they never had to schedule before.
It’s not that your friends don’t love you. Scheduling is not about love. It’s about luck. Suggest a late supper (that will get them!) another day. Katie Rosman, columnist and editor at The New York Times, just revealed, in a hilarious story, how even lovers can’t get together to binge watch their favorite TV shows without a choking flood of rescheduling. But don’t get me started on that Katie Rosman! She’s been trying to schedule a major Hula-Hoop Archery Badminton Afternoon up here at my cabin for the past six years.
This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.