Dear E. Jean: I’m 33 and have always been in monogamous relationships. A couple of weeks ago, the man I’ve been seeing for eight months took me to a swingers party without telling me. Of course we had a big argument the following morning. He told me he was into this lifestyle and claimed I “just didn’t realize” that I’m also into this type of sexual activity.
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Since then he’s badgered me into going to parties and has kept insisting that I “play” with other people (making out, etc.). So finally I slept with a couple. He watched the whole thing without participating. Did it turn me on? Yes. But I had to be very drunk to do it. He wants me to keep doing it. I don’t know what to think! He gave me a ring the very morning after I slept with the couple for the first time. Is he weird? Is he in love with me? —Too Conservative for Him?
My enchanting numbskull: Many and varied are the ways of loving, but it seems to me it does not require five mojitos to realize that an old swinger coercing you into shagging a couple of strangers is not true love.
This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.